Starstruck

I had a conversation the other day over lunch about Twilight.  It was with my friends Kaley and Teresa and we were talking about those crazy insane fans who stalk, scream, and practically wet themselves when they see Rob Pattinson.  I can't blame them, he is a dream boat, but I always thought I'd be that cool fan.  You know, the one who quietly goes up to them and says, "hey, I love your work" or something like that.  Well, as it turns out, I'm not one of those easygoing fans who can keep their cool while chatting up a celeb.  In fact, I wasn't even "chatting up" anyone.  It was just me a few tables over, camera in hand, sweating profusely, and practically squealing because the sexiest man on Planet Earth was breathing the same air that I was. 

It was our farewell dinner for CEA.  We all met up at Le Mosquée de Paris, which is a super cool restaurant that is actually in a Mosque.  Apparently it's a must-eat in Paris and I understand why, because the food was seriously amazing.  I never thought that I could be so full on couscous and hot honey tea.  It was absolutely delectable and that was only the food *wink*.
A bunch of us were sitting at our table waiting to order when Anna said "Man, that guy looks like Usher."  I immediately checked him out and I was in disbelief.  We were all like, "No way, that can't be Usher.  What would he be doing in a Mosque in Paris..."  But after further inquiries, it was decided that yes, in fact, Usher and his rock hard abs were sitting a few tables over.  Then I began to hyperventilate.  I'm not even kidding.  All that 'easy going' bullshit went right out the window and a psychotic fangirl took her place.  It was an out of body experience.  I kept thinking that this was not me.  I did not plainly take pictures of other people in restaurants and practically scream at my friends with excitement, and then he waved....ah!

I guess we were being really obvious.  All of us were swooning and giggling for about 30 minutes.  It was totally unreal. 

Of course, both tables (CEA and the Usher posse) got their food and we all quieted down.  That didn't mean that I didn't watch him my entire meal, but the queasiness subsided and I was able to take my eyes off of him (occasionally).  He was with the oddest group of people.  The really big guy was his bodyguard I'm assuming, but the two other women were just odd.  One looked like Kimora Lee Simmons, but I doubt it was her.  She was just this fabulous tan Asian lady who wore her sunglasses the whole time.  Then he was with another women (in the most adorable cheetah maxi dress) who didn't look like anyone special.  I'll have to do some serious research and figure out Usher's social life and see if I recognize anyone...But anyway, it looked like they were having a good time.  He was on his Blackberry most of the time, but the conversation looked interesting.  Man, do I sound like I have a problem. 

Oh, and the best part of it all!  We made eye contact!  I'm not even kidding.  He was walking, actually no, that statement is wrong.  Usher does not walk.  He struts or floats or something else entirely that is incapable to the rest of the human species.  I can't put a name to it, it's just distinctly Usher and goodness is it sexy...Anyway, he was on his way to the bathroom, which included him going directly toward our table and I waved at him.  He looked deep into my eyes, gave that boyish smile, and waved back.  I then proceeded to melt into pile of complete goo.  Apparently though, his people arranged for him to not walk through the restaurant to the bathrooms so he did this super cool swivel (I swear, his feet were not touching the ground), and he turned around and went through the kitchen to the restroom.  At that moment he was directly across the table from me.  If I had wanted I could have reached out my hand and easily touched him.  I'm sure his bodyguard would have been on me in 2 seconds, but I'm seriously wondering now if the physical pain and lawsuit would have been worth it...

This was when I first fell in love with Usher 10 years ago.

Oh boy, have I got it bad...

Despite our hysteria, no one else in the restaurant seemed to notice this Appolon (French term.  So fitting).  It wasn't until he got up to leave that the kids at the table directly next to him noticed.  They approached Usher's people while he was using the bathroom and Anna, being just as obsessed and a really good lip reader, saw that he was signing autographs but not taking pictures.  Well, we had pestered him enough during his meal and now, a half hour later, my hormones had finally balanced out and I didn't feel the need to have him sign my french phrasebook or napkin.  I decided to be nice and not draw even more attention to him.  So I guess, in a way, I conquered my inner fan girl.  Perhaps this was necessary for my wellbeing....a test of sorts so that now I am prepared for the elusive Rob Pattinson or George Clooney.  I heard that both Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp have homes in France.  Perhaps they're next!  One can hope!


*Revelation: I must preface this by asking that you please not judge me for this statement.  When Anna and I went to the bathroom after Usher had left, we accidentally used the men's room.  (In France most public restrooms are one room with just separate stalls.  It can kind of get confusing...)  This means that not only did Usher and I make eye contact, breath the same air, and eat the same couscous, but we also used the same toilet.
As sad and disturbing as this epiphany is I feel very content with the amount of contact we had.  And I hereby pledge that this will be last obsessive statement about Usher.  I sincerely believe that after some thought and serious contemplation that I can begin to live my life normally again and slowly become the cool, breezy fan who is friend to the stars.